Mesa Choices

October 25, 2013 9:50 AM

I did not move on to fire last night as intended. I felt the need for grounding so I sat before the South side of the mesa instead. Too many “Petty earthbound concerns” of late. Finances. A dog with two infected ears. I wish I was a pet psychic and could somehow make him see that we’re trying to help him.

So I sat before Pacha Mama seeking grounding and strength, not really looking for any answers , but seeking a transfer of energy.

Everything seems different since the 22nd when I tried to connect to the energy of the darkness and change represented by Mama Killa. I feel somehow disconnected and distant. I feel somehow withdrawn and I’m finding it difficult to find the energy or gumption I’d found earlier in my journey. Did the experience just take that much from me? It’s possible. I felt so charged before that. I felt so “on the right path.” Now everything feels exhausting. I’m tired all the time.

Things seemed to be getting clearer and more focused. I could tell I was moving forward. Last night, though somehow I needed to connect to the mesa, I felt like I was going throughout the motions. And yet, when I stood and closed the mesa, I found that I had been there for about an hour without realizing it, though I cannot for the life of me say that anything was revealed other than the fact that I’m able to zone for an hour without noticing it.

This headache seems to be a constant now too. My appetite has also returned, but over the past few days I’ve felt so lethargic. I make plans of things I intend to do, but they rarely come to pass.