Cosmology and Dreams

November 16. 2013

So The following post is of some length. It shows how far behind I am at transcribing my posts to this group, but in addition I had some trepidation about putting it out there. It took me into a more detailed description of my cosmology and I know that it will be off-putting for some.

The truth is that even though I just finished transcribing it yesterday, I planned to delay posting it until I returned from my trip to Arizona. I didn't want it to seem like a digital version of a "Ring-and-Run."

Then last night I had an odd dream. I had arrived at the camp site and as I pulled up there was a flat-bed truck waiting at the steps. On the bed of the truck waited my father. This was my father from the days when he reminded me most of an older Harrison Ford. There he stood; complete with touristy hiking hat and walking stick. As I approached, he shouldered an old school duffle bag and walked along the bed of the truck to join me. I wanted to ask what he was doing there, I considered telling him that in desert camping you have to pack water and wood, but instead, I just reached up a hand to help him down from the truck bed. His presence indicated to me that even though the journey is foreign to him and that the landscape is unfamiliar, he is there Nonetheless. Thanks Dad! I do appreciate every call and every status check.

So I'm posting this before I head out of town for a few days. Plenty of time to discuss it (If any one wants to do so) when I get back.

October 28, 3013, 10:45 AM

How do you relay a memory so old that the world in which it happened no longer exists? How do you relay a story of such meaning and continued relevance, while at the same time avoiding an expository essay or a petty contrivance? How do you show all without telling too much or embellishing in the name of rhetorical device?

Perhaps you just begin as it began; with a poem that would not be suppressed. And though in many ways, the poem expresses the “what,” it ignores much of the “why.” Detail is subconsciously supplanted by poetic allusion. And though perhaps the details are unnecessary to convey the emotion, they may be necessary to convey the whole of the story.

At my core, the center of my etherial self I am called Eaithanielle. It may be that the he time of the poem is so close to the beginning of my sentience that my name was still close. I was called Eaithain. In Hebrew, my true name translates most closely to “Strength of God,” which makes it necessary to actually talk about God. Strangely, the hebrew name given to me by my parents in this life time is Adam Tzur, which could be translated to “Rock of Man”, I find that interesting.

But for our purposes you must understand what I consider to be truth. God is not an individual. God is the combined sentience of the individual beings of sentient energy that exist at the core of our physical being. In the parts of our brains we don’t use, in the 20 plus strands of DNA we know exist, but which for most people lie dormant for entire lifetimes. It is the individual being of sentient energy that breathes life into our physical or material form from the moment in the womb when the physical shell moves from viable fetus to a being capable of containing us. In this sense God is everything and nothing without the sentience of each celestial or etherial entity that is a part of its pure energetic form. To borrow a phrase from Napoleon Hill, a sort of Infinite Intelligence. Each individual part of that whole re-combines at the moment of death sharing all the knowledge gained through the experiences of that unique physical life. This in turn adds to the base of knowledge and allows the combined form of infinite intelligence to learn from new experience and grow. So in a very real sense, both my true name and my given Hebrew name in this life are expressions of my commitment to the continued growth and existence of that combined celestial and sentient energy to which we are all connected. that commitment is expressed through the preservation of a balance between positive and negative energies.

We all have positive and negative energies within. Science teaches us that both positive and negative energies are essential to maintain atomic cohesion. For our purposes as individual beings of sentient energy we can think of those two opposites as order and chaos. While in cosmic balance, both energies expressed by living live-in the physical world allow for the growth and experience of that combined and infinite intelligence. It is only through experience that we gain knowledge. It is only through knowledge that that whole of our unified being can remain infinitely intelligence. It’s not about what we now know when together it is about the infinite potential of knowledge to be gained though the individual’s unique experience which is shared when it rejoins with the whole. So we inhabit physical forms to learn, to grow, to experience.

And so we live many lives by choice. Some live and then re-connect to the whole in a consciousness that adheres to their physical experience; a heaven or hell of their own making. During physical existence, most are unaware of their pervious lives, though all experience remains infused in memory through the coding of our D.N.A. When the ethereal self passes from the physical form, the experience of those who re-join the whole either in awareness or the experience of an afterlife add to the knowledge of the combined whole of that infinite intelligence. It is, in fact, through this exchange that the intelligence continues to grow and remains infinite.

Yet, as with all things in the realm of energy and physics, it’s a balancing act. In the ethereal form, Those dominated by order, strive to bring order to the universe, and though they recognize that order cannot exist without chaos, they feel that chaos should be minimized as a necessary evil and used to further the aims of order. Those dominated by chaos have no interest in balance in any form. That’s where those who are more balanced in the ethereal form come into play. And that’s where my name and experiences become relevant.

Many of those ethereal beings who have a primarily balanced combination of positive and negative energy, made a commitment. Perhaps this commitment was made at the first moment of true sentience. It is a commitment to eternally return to the physical in an attempt to maintain the balance between the positive and negative energies that manifest in law and chaos respectively. When the balance shifts either way in the physical realm unpleasant things happen.

Through my journey it has become clear that I am one who made this commitment. Not all o those who have done so are aware of their past lives in any given lifetime. I know that in many or most of my own lifetimes I was born, lived, died, and was reborn never aware of anything but the transition which is forgotten in the physical mind when complete. And yet for some reason, a reason for which I am now searching, I am aware in this lifetime.

None of which addresses the initial question. How do I tell this story? Perhaps I should just begin in that time and place and beg your indulgence for any inaccuracies in dialogue that may occur. I don’t remember ever word, but I remember far more than I did two months ago.