Initial post from Private FB group

Adam Stuart Littman

Admin

 ·  · October 18, 2013 ·

From last night's writings: 10/17/2013 11:45 PM

" I have Activated my Mesa. I sit before it now on the ethereal side, contemplating where to begin and the answer is made clear to me. Not just in this moment, but in the past few days. I am not alone here. There is love and there is help from a source I believed would condemn me. I will meditate and try to speak with her. This is so hard with so much of my consciousness blocked by chemicals, but still I must try to know if I'm right about this.

She is here. I made contact. She remains so, very... Her. When I asked if it was she, she laughed at me and asked why I insist on asking questions to which I already know the answers.

I told her, "That's just it, my love, I no longer have them. I no longer know."

"Of course you do," she said. " You must simply be brave enough to seek them."

I told her, "I don't know if I can." and she said I don't have to know because she knows. I should be brave enough to tell our story and become stronger through the telling.

There is no accusation in her, no judgement. Somehow through the incalculable span of time, she continues to believe in me. Though I don't have her conviction, I will do my best to find this me she knows and believes in so much that she has manifested here to watch over me so that I might find him, embrace him as part of myself and be partly him again.

I tell her I'm afraid. She says she knows, but when did I begin letting fear stop me from doing what I know I must?

I say she doesn't know me now and she replies that she knows me always.

Apparently that's all she'll say on the matter except to let me feel her presence, her confidence, her comfort, and her conviction that I must tell our story. I guess I know now where to start. And so I will. And I will try to believe that she will continue to watch over me as I heal from the telling.

ASL